you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
