My underwear smells like fireworks.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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