heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
