My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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