So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
