I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
