I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
