Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
