"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
