this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
