I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it was like eating out sand paper
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
