I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
