Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
