I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
