God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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