This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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