I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
