Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
