Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize