also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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