sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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