ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
