At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I deserve this hangover.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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