Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she told me i tasted like america
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
