so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize