Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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