Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
well you can't waste a boner
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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