Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
