haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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