Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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