im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
