sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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