If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
