Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
