Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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