I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
