girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
