I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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