38 yer olds are good kisserssss
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
