Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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