How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
