Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
