it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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