worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
