my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
