hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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