if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she looked like the before picture.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
