just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
