U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
