In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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