Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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